The role of Sandek is defined as the highest
honor an individual can have as a participant within
a bris ceremony. The origin of the term Sandek has been
attributed to a derivation from the Greek word suntekos
which means 'companion of child'. The main role of a Sandek
is to be seated during the ceremony and hold the baby on
their knees.
Traditionally the honor was reserved for a single
male, usually a grandfather, great-grandfather, rabbi or any
other especially important male present at the ceremony. He
was always a Jew but not necessarily a family member. The
individual chosen was spiritually considered to be acting as
a Kohen or "priestly" Jew and therefore was required to be a
righteous man from an observant background. He was to wear a
Tallis or prayer shawl and place the corner of the shawl
over the forehead of the baby during the ceremony. The baby
was placed on a pillow on the Sandek's lap and the
circumcision was performed by the mohel while the Sandek
held the baby.
In a non-traditional or modern setting, the Sandek
may be female, or even a non-Jew. Because of this variance,
some choose to honor a grandmother, both grandmothers or
even the baby's aunts or cousins instead of an honored
male.Usually the Sandek is one person, but may be two if the
family chooses. (More than two Sandekim is not
recommended because it is traditionally unfounded and
disrupts the flow of the ceremony.)
Again, in a traditional setting the Sandek would actually
hold the baby during the circumcision, but in the course of
my ceremony the Sandek relinquishes the baby to me. The baby
is then placed on a pillow on top of the ceremonial table,
whereupon the circumcision is performed. The Sandek is
requested but not required, to help hold the baby during the
procedure on the pillow.
To reiterate, the Sandek is a necessary role to be
assigned to the most important individual present at the
bris. It is the highest honor and should not be given
lightly. It is that person or persons I clearly identify as
holding this highest honor who sit and hold the baby while
seated in the chair of Elijah during a significant portion
of the ceremony. They do not need to be a relative, male,
Jewish or willing, capable or healthy enough to help with
holding the baby during the circumcision... they need
only to be the most important person in your life present at
the bris.
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